I Don’t Use Opiates or Really Ever Think Too Much About Them

You are such a good person and an inspiration. I am thinking this last little part of my situation is more circumstantial and insomnia related than anything.

We had a good weekend away from Grandmothers house at the beach and it helped. I also caught myself realizing this morning that I don’t use opiates or really ever think too much about them, if only to know they are part of my past. That was awesome, as there were times I felt I would never be free from Suboxone^® or cravings period. I have also been carrying naltrexone around in the bottom of my bag and realized when I heard them rattle last night that they mean less than Tylenol.. That was awesome also. Naltrexone serves a wonderful protection for it’s time and was very easy to just stop as well. I was a little worried as I am such an extreme case of “addict”.. I am glad the xanax thing is almost over. I had a serious addiction to them back in 05-06 and it’s not something I ever want to endure again. It was true hell and I spent 45 days in patient then an additional 30 day taper coming off. CRAZY..They are deadly and I am thankful my dose is so low. this may also be why I am so sensitive to the psychological and physical separation from them. Also, they are my last med. I don’t drink, smoke, rarely smoke, or anything, and I suppose after a lifetime it’s just the over all letting go of any of that false security. Andrew is so strong and healthy, playing guitar and working hard. I don’t see him being someone who ever goes back and I know seeing what I go thru makes an impression on him as well. We all thank you every day……..